Coming Attractions: Righteous Rant

I am giving fair warning that all the silliness of the prior posts are deceptive, I am preparing to post a righteous rant about.....

White House Using Non-governmental communication systems for official (and illegal) business.

I've been studying this since I first learned of White House staffer Susan Ralston (Karl Rove's assistant) communicating with her former boss (convicted felon Jack Abramoff) about the need to NOT communicate over the offical White House email system. It's been about a year, I'd say.

And now of course, the issue has emerged again the face of the US Attorney firings. They guys are such fucking criminals I can't even comprehend how corrupt they've been and how badly they've harmed America. (that's a rant for a different day)

--Shella

Don't Click Here

Don't click the following link if you don't feel like being annoyed and disgusted at how juvenile I can be.

Don't Click Here

Told you so. You just HAD to click didn't you? You have to learn to trust me. I simply have your best interest at heart. Oh well, the damage is done. Next time consider heeding my warning.

--Shella

My Kind of Map: Real-time Global Disasters!!!

I haven't been able to figure out how to do a "screen capture" so I don't have a pic/image for this post. You're just going to have to click on the following link for the.... (drum roll, please)

Map of Bad News

Which shows, in real time, the locations and types of global disasters! Simply click on an icon to get the scoop, low down, info and details!

See plane crashes, earth quakes, tornados, biological scares, nuclear radioactivity leaks, volcanic erruptions, bus accidents, tsunami's, pestilence, locusts, storms, floods, and all host and manner of breaking bad news around the world!

I've known for quite some time that I am a little quirky. Given that I find this interesting, some would consider it confirmation of my odd personality.

Enjoy!

--Shella

I've Been Thinking: Hard

It's Friday April 13th, and believe it or not I had bad luck today. Let me explain.

First, I want to preface this post by saying that I have NEVER put stock in superstition, especially that any Friday the 13th is bad luck. In fact, I've found quite the opposite - that typically it means I usually have a pretty good day.

So, anyone who's half conscious knows that the winds howled gale force last night and into this morning. I live in a pretty wooded area, so it doesn't take much wind to knock out electical power in my neck of the... well.... woods (ahem)

Last night was no exception to the "mild wind = no power" equation at work in my world. Except that the winds were exceptionally strong.

Usually it's no big deal. I have a drawer full of candles, an big red flame-throwing lighter do-hickey, and have recently become enamoured of the new cheap L.E.D. light sources (they run off a small battery for like 100,000 hours).

I was lulled to sleep, in the dark of night, without power, by the sound of howling winds (which I love, along with the sound of rain).

I was rudely awakened when my french doors blew open at some ungodly hour. It was so windy that I had to prop them closed by wedging my table against them (evidently the male door knob thingly doesn't fit properly into the female door jamb orifice, which prevents a proper tight fit, and thusly results in a, ahhhh, "unsatisfactory closure" as it were). (it's been a challenge making this paragraph vaguely sexual - the stupid things I do to amuse myself should be embarrasing)(forgive me)

Okay, so pitch black night, check. No electricity, check. Blown open door, check. Proped table, check. Howling wind, check. Crash? Did I just hear a crash? What in the HELL was that crash? I check out the bedroom window, nothing. I check out the kitchen window, nothing. (I don't dare look out the kitchen door, but that's another story.) I can't see anything amiss, so it's back to bed for me.

I wake this morning and the electricity has only just come back on. Coffee is delicious, it looks like one tree has been uprooted... and what's that? The neighbors metal and canvas gazebo appears to have flown out of their yard and landed on........ ......... ....... my fucking car.

I don't believe it. It's landed on MY FUCKING CAR. There's a wrought iron gazebo on my car. Oh. And, it's Friday the 13th.

Two dents to the roof aint half bad - god I feel lucky!

--Shella

I wanted you to know that I am working on several different posts, which have been delayed due to my impending participation in a wedding on Saturday. Sunday will be the multiple post day - lot's of new stuff...... !

Effective: French AIDS Posters

Jesus. This is creepy. And effective.

--Shella

I've Been A Little Tied Up.....

I'll post a few entries as soon as I become available.

--Shella

My God: She's Ugly

Well. Knock me over with a feather. I can hardly believe it (I guess I just never saw a detailed photo of her).

Nicole Kidman is ugly.

What is it about her upper lip? Fat in the corners and thin up top? What?

Check out those eyelids - she looks asian (time for a lift sweetie).

There's an odd bit of flesh protruding from the side of her face (implant?).

Her hair resembles that of a cancer patient with a bad comb-over. It's thin, crinkly looking and has short bits sticking up.

Am I crazy? Is this the worst photo of Nicole you've ever seen? I always thought she was classic looking (if a bit of an ice queen). Tall, thin, stately, groomed to within an inch of her life. An unconventional beauty, but beautiful nonetheless.

Okay, my snark is all in fun. But honestly, what's up with this terrible pic! A word of advice to Nicole: have your PR gofer yank this one back from the public domain.

I have to say, there once existed a single photograph of me so heinous that when I saw it I nearly went into cardiac arrest. Needless to say it doesn't exist any longer. Let me tell you the story.

Some years ago I went to Las Vegas on a business trip. My colleague and I went to the "Stratosphere" sight-seeing building. At that time there were two "rides" (aka torture devices) on the top. One ride being a rollercoster contraption that was affixed on the EXTERIOR of the widest part of the structure. The other ride being a car that rides straight up and down the Stratosphere's spire.

At the time, it seemed more safe to partake in the ride that went straight up over the roof structure rather than the ride that dangled over the edge without benefit of safety net. I should have known better.

We climbed into a car, sitting upright, and a harness came down over our shoulders. About the time I realized that my harness didn't lock down, the fucking car took off into the air without a shred of warning. The G-forces alone from the initial take-off peeled my lower eyelids and corners of my open, screaming maw down. It was possibly the single moment in my life of utter, sheer, uncompromised terror.

As luck would have it, the ride designers built in a camera that catches with perfect precision that fraction of an instant. So when you climb off the ride in your piss soaked glory they attempt to sell patrons the photographic evidence of one's folly.

I hadn't realized that a photo had been taken and the expression I saw on my face literally defies description - other than to say I looked like a monster.

So, in an odd way I sympathize with Nicole.

--Shella